Autumn IV (Party Of Four)

 CHAPTER 4

"So, how do you think you did?"

"I'd rather not talk about it, that's how I think I did." Mae snarled. Danny cracked a grin for her benefit.

"Finals." he clarified for my benfit.

"What about you?" he turned to Ciaran. Of course he shrugged not even speaking to our small group. "Autumn?" not easily ruffled he moved on to me.

"I was home schooled." I shrugged. "no finals for me." To Danny it wasn't taken for the nonchalance I was going for.

"That is sweetness to the highest degree possible."

Mae grimaced. "Don't ever say that again." she turned to me. "Really?"

I nodded. The question came and hit me from there.

“Onto more cheerful matters.” Mae sat down her forks. “Not long until the Bonfire.”

The table seemed to perk up at the word. It meant nothing to me. Still, I listened on until I couldn’t follow anymore and my mind wondered in and out. The rest of the night was full of Mae and Danny bantering back and forth and talking. They fell into an easy conversation of people who had known each other for a while. They spoke like friends. Envy lanced through me followed by embarrassment, that wasn't fair. It wasn't my fault that I didn't have many friends, Ashton had been the best friend in the world and it was seeing them talk back and forth that drove home how much I was missing him. Over at the other table Nic seemed to be falling in with Alanna and the youngest Moongood, Sage. He was smiling that was enough to make me smile. This was good for him, us. This could be good for both of us after all.

“you should really come with us, Autumn,” My name brought me back into the conversation. We all turned to Mae who seemed to run the show around here. “The Bonfire, you’d like the woods and I know a bunch of cute guys who would like you.” she said the last part in a low voice that wouldn’t carry. I blushed giving her words away anyway.

Danny laughed again. “I wouldn’t do that around them, they’ll torment you for blushing alone.” he leaned forward his face glowing with the setting sun. “It is really adorable though.” my blush deepened spreading down my neck.

“Danny shut up, now you’re just being mean.” Mae chastised hitting him on his shoulder to prove a point. “Anyway, it’s really fun, fire, earth, skin, the moon.” she wiggled her eyebrows.
“Sounds dangerous.” I muttered rolling a tomato around on my plate.
“But fun.” Mae insisted.

“If you say so.” I muttered wishing we could change the subject. Me and people, plus all those elements equaled negative me. The mere thought of going to a party set my nerves on fried edge. “I’ll think about it.” I said to the group. Judging by Mae’s face I could tell it wouldn’t much matter what I wanted.

The rest of the party didn’t leave until the moon was high and the mosquitoes really came out to bite. The more we swatted the more they bit, well so everyone said. While everyone complained of numerous bites I only sported two.

“Oh look.” Danny pointed at my throat, I froze and again he ignored me but didn’t touch. “One bit your throat.”

I had to laugh playing it off when his hand caressed over the small nick while everyone watched, including Ciaran and Dad. “Looks like they bit you everywhere.” I teased.

He grimaced scratching a blood sucked mound on the back of his hand. “Really gotta lay off the soda.”

“Like I’ve told you I don’t know how many times.” A woman, his mother laughed swatting her son towards the house, to the door. I followed to walk them out like I had been asked.

“See you tomorrow Autumn, I’ll be here at six, okay.” he was gone before I could tell him it certainly wasn’t okay.

A phone rang somewhere in the house, distracting me. Following the sound led me to the kitchen. Biting my lip I pressed the button. "Hello?"

"Dr. Scotts?" a pretty female voice asked.
"Hold on." I said walking back out the door to the remaining group. "Dad." he looked up from his group instantly and Trista turned with him as I approached. "there is someone on the phone for you." I handed it over. A look flashed over Dad's face but it was gone and he disappear into the house with it leaving us to look after him. I looked after him while the adults looked down at me. Dad came back before I started fidgeting a look on his face that I knew to well. “Hospital?”

He paused then nodded. “Sorry,” he looked around the small group.

“No problem.” Mr. Moongood stood. “we should leave as well.”
“No, you’re welcome to stay-” but both of them were shaking their heads. Mrs. Moongood was already motion for her children. All thee of them met us at the door and filed in along with Alli and Nic. Dad had already disappeared inside.

Sage darted into the kitchen, her curls jingled as she grabbed something and skipped to catch up to her family. “Sage?”
She turned to me from her mother’s side. “don’t you want a cooked sausage.”

“No, I have one.” she waved the raw pale thing up for me to see.
“But- it’s not cooked..” I appealed to her mother and father. No one seemed to have a problem with it. All of them looked at me like I had the problem.

“They aren’t raw darling.” Mrs. Moongood said slowly. “just rare. it’s a family preference.” Of course it was.

“Oh,” I squirmed under all the sapphire stares. My own searching for the ground fast. “Sorry, didn’t mean-” when no one said anything. I cleared my throat. “Let me walk you out” I mumbled my offer leaving for the patio door before any of them could answer. They just follow.

We walked in silence they each nodded as I held the door open for them. Mrs. Moongood attempted a warm smile; luke warm. Little Sage managed a cheery wave before following her mama out the door munching on her sausage. Aiden didn’t meet my eye anymore but nodded my way. Maeve gave me a hug; I went ridged tensing in her embrace for a moment before relaxing. She must recover faster than her parents. She won’t hurt you. I tried to convince my body to relax a bit more.

I closed the door that was all of them-

“That was well done” an amused voice said behind me. I whipped around. Ciaran leaned against the wall of the corridor leading to the stairs.

“Excuse me?” now it was my turn for my voice to shake. He hadn’t talked to me all day. “You managed to unnerve my parents that‘s a feat” he said happily. “people usually don’t point out things like that to him. They just let us be.” Ciaran’s voice was like no ones I’d ever heard. Rough and velvety; inviting as honey as feral as a wolf. A deadly combination in my opinion. I loved it instantly. Autumn you are officially crazy.

“I don’t know what you mean.” I said angrily suddenly wishing he and his weird moods would leave. “If he doesn’t want me to know how he did it that is perfectly fine with me I was only curious” my voice shook a bit Ciaran pulled away from the wall prowling in my direction. Watching my every move it made me extremely self conscious.

“Haven’t you ever heard that curiosity killed the cat?” he asked. He had stopped only a few feet away. I squirm a bit looking down at my feet before looking back at him. He hadn’t looked away if anything he had gotten closer. The problem with that was I hadn’t heard him move.

“Your family is waiting” I opened the door hoping he got the message. He did because he walked around me toward the door. Stopping when he was at the threshold, at my side turning to face me. His indigo eyes pierced me. Time stood still for what seemed like eternity. Before a firm hand stole mine. Ciaran’s hands were warm, smooth, he had artist hands. His nails were longer than most men would dare wear them. He took my hand and kissed it. I shivered, not just because he was touching me or because of the way he was looking at me. It was because I could swear a tooth scraped the surface of my hand. “Welcome to Rosharon.”

A smile leaked across his face; his perfect teeth gleaming like pearls in the dim lighting. I jerked my hand away more violently then intended.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He was still showing his teeth.

“I-” I stammered floundering around like an idiot. “I don’t know-”
“We’ll see you tomorrow Autumn.” If he was trying to reassure me then it wasn’t working but, I nodded again. As if waiting for my confirmation he turned on heels; his smile disappearing out the door with the rest of them. I didn’t wait to see if he made it safely to his car. I closed the door my first chance. Leaning my head on the cool glass of the French door; waiting for my pulse to slow and my cheeks to cool. I knew I was scarlet.

“Are you alright?” A loud voice made my head snap up. No I wasn’t alright. How could this happen? Why me?

“Fine” I said turning to face Dad.

“Good.” He paused, listening to the activity in the house. Nic and Alanna had scampered upstairs. We both heard the running of water. “Come here, I need to talk to you before I leave.” he headed toward the den and I had no choice but to follow.
"It's great having you kids here." He said, keeping his voice low. He plopped down onto the sofa motioning for me to sit beside me.

"We're excited to be here." I took a seat.

"You did good tonight, was everyone nice?"

"Can't complain" I shrugged.

"Made any friends?" he asked

"A few." Another shrug. I hadn’t talk to my dad in years. Now sitting down for a conversation was nothing short of weird. But it was long over due and needed to happen. I didn't want to keep hating him but years of trying to clean up the after math he left behind, it was hard not to.

"Have you had anymore of those. . .episodes?" He asked slowly almost hesitant.

"No." I winced, I said it to quickly. Why did he have to call them that. Then, there was no better name for them and it was what Alison told him they were. I bet anything she had. "Why are you asking?"

"Because I need to know these things Ladybug," he sat up straighter trying to look self righteous in his asking.

"well I haven't had any lately." not really.
I'd never be a good liar, not naturally anyway but I felt through years of practice I had become descent. He could smell it on me like a bee senses pollen on a flower.

"Your lying to me ladybug” I winced again, it was really grinding me that he kept calling me ladybug. It was like he was lying to me, trying to make it seem that things were the way they had been when I was child and our family was whole and intact. Not broken, he had no right to call me that. Not after what he did.

He hadn’t even told me he was going away, one day I came home to my Dad and a suit case. My heavily pregnant mom sitting at the table drinking. Nic really should have been born retarded, but someone upstairs was good. For the most part his cookies were all the way baked. I hadn’t understood what his leaving then meant, I guess in the back of my head I always thought he would come back. He never did, and I picked up the pieces for Mom best I could. No child should have to become the parent at eight, not to their own parent anyway. But him leaving made me do it. It made me become a different person because of it. I blame him for every bad thing that happen in my life. I blame Trista too, but not as much as Dad. All Nic’s suffering, all my grief down to these episodes, I couldn’t stop were in some way his fault.

“I’m not lying, I haven’t had any real episodes since I left Strange”

“Real episodes?”

“I-” I paused wondering if I really just wanted to tell him this. "I don't like crowds, to many people and things get a little. . " I shook my head hoping he would understand.
He didn't slowly his shoulders tensed. “You should have told me if you were-”

"I just needed a moment to get myself together.” I said quietly

“Still, you should have-” He shook his head, his face turning red as he thought about what could have happened if I snapped. "You doctor faxed me your prescription, I can have it filled for you." that meant he already did have it filled.

“You’re monitoring me?” I asked slowly my brain reeling.

"after what happen sweetheart, I think it is best.” he said gently.

“But I-”

"we don't know," he said gently. "I would feel better if you took it, just to see if it helps. The when we feel comfortable-" when he felt comfortable. "we can wean you off and see how it works out."

"But it won't happen again." I piped up, he was already shaking his head.

"We don't know that Ladybug, you were sick for so long." to him I was still sick.

I heard his frustration now. “This doesn't make any sense."

“I know.” My mind was slipper at times. I walked on thin ice in my own head any moment the waves of darkness would slip over me and-

“Think about it this way Autumn, I would rather even you out, than have Alanna and Nic-”

I hissed. "I would never hurt a child." under his gaze I flinched. "I wouldn't hurt them."

"We don't know that, Ladybug, look at where I'm coming from."

"I do-"

"Then you'll take them?" he asked. I paused and saw the tension go back to his shoulders.

"I- can I have a day to think about it?" he paused and after a moment, he nodded. I had a day.

"Will you at least tell me what happen?" Dad ask finally cutting off my thought. "Will you tell your new friends?"

“No.”

“I saw Daniel Garret and Ciaran talking to you, will you tell them?”

Without hesitation. “No”

His body sagged in relief, I’m guessing he didn’t want anyone to know his daughter should be in a straight jacket. I didn’t want them to know it either.

“Good.” Dad leaned back suddenly able to relax.

“Daniel is a good kid and the Moongood's are a real good family, nice people.”

odd people. I silently corrected.
He nodded his head to his own words “Both of them seemed to like you. If you catch my meaning.”

“Danny was nice." I admitted, Ciaran was something I couldn't put into words. "Ciaran didn't talk much."

"He's like you," I raised a brow and he clarified. "shy, until you get to know him." then what was he like I wondered.

Instead I said “I don't think he has any interest in me.” it was said under my breath but he still caught it.

“Are you sure?” he was a doubter Dad was.

“I’m sure.”

Dad nodded again as if he expected no less despite his earlier words. “That’s for the best i think, not that I’m discouraging, if it’s what you want.” he added hastily. “honestly, I would discourage any dating until we find out what’s causing your- problem." I kept my mouth shut.

“I could help you Autumn, if you just told me what happen, what’s wrong?”

I can’t, for the million and one time I can’t. I wanted to shout at him I couldn’t tell him, I didn’t want to tell him. It would be like reliving it all over again. “I can’t-”

“But you will.” He was confident, almost smug. Too bad he was wrong.

“No.” I whispered.

The man rounded on me so quick I nearly fell back into the sofa. It took everything I had not to bolt. He was staring down at me hard. None of the earlier warmth and indulgence in sight.
“No” he hissed “What do you mean no?”

No one seemed to think I knew what I was saying anymore.

“I mean,” I groped for a word, I didn’t know what I meant to say. shove off wouldn’t exactly be appropriate now would it? “I’m not ready to tell you yet, it's painful Daddy.” the name worked like I knew it would and yes, I knew I was playing dirty. It was a choice I would make again when I saw his face soften up and his voice lost the edge.

“Does anyone know at all?”

Yes “No.” Ashton knew. He and I had a blood pact, he wouldn’t tell and I trusted him. Of course Alison and Steve knew, Nic knew some of it but not all. I did my best to keep him as far from everything as possible.

Dad shook his head looking away from me and I could breath again. “I can’t help you till you want it.”

I said nothing staring down at my feet.

“I guess I better get going, I'm already running late.” his look said that this too was my fault.

"I-" there was something else. "Dad, Danny- Daniel asked me if I wanted to go running with him tomorrow." I waited but he said nothing. "Can I go?"

"Do you think you will be okay?" he asked and I nodded.

"Then go, maybe it will help you a bit." I nodded. Better to get this over with and done.

He stood pulling me with him. I was so tired my legs felt like piled jelly but there was something else I needed to say.
“Dad.” I grabbed his arm before he could walk away.

“Yea lady bug” repressing the shudder.

“Nic doesn’t know about my-” letting go of his arm now that I had his attention. I crossed my arms. “About my episodes, can we not talk about them in front of him or Alanna?” He nodded once and walked away and I watched him go. Waiting until I heard the click of the front door before heading in search of a shower then my bed. Where I hoped to sleep for an eternity.